Sweet Quiet

Today was an unusual day at work, it was ... quiet and without much interruption.  I was able to work, in quiet (for the most part) and take control of my day's schedule without having to add, squish, or squeeze another thing in.  It was great!

It made me realize the mental noise that stress (for me stress is too many tasks in not enough time to complete them) creates and the sense of peace that can come from being allowed to take control of your own schedule and allot enough time for things.  Now, I did not get through the whole to-do list, but I felt lighter and noticeably less tired at the end of the day, then I might typically.  The mental noise was significantly reduced.

Today, I am thankful for quiet, sweet quiet and the chance to work in peace.  What gives you a sense of peace and accomplishment?

P.S. Notice the sweets in today's picture! 

The Love of Reading

Today much joy was had during a trip to the local library.  I LOVE the library.  I love the idea of the library, the feel, the books, the atmosphere, and the not-to-be overlooked fact that you can take out whatever book, DVD, CD or audio book out for .......wait for it....FREE!

I found some great books today - a Indian cookbook (yum!), a piece of fiction by an author I like, some books on organizing your home (a girl has to dream!), some magazines (for perusing during afternoon tea) and some great books for the kiddies.  I can't wait to get in the kitchen and cook up a storm, enjoy the smells, tastes and beauty of a new book, new inspiration and, new knowledge.

Even my hubby found some great books on photography and some music CD's to make the work commute feel a little lighter.  The trip to the library made me smile, remind me that the best things in life are free and that a good book is priceless. 

When nothing = something

As we near the end of January which I have aptly named the 'month of nothing', it seemed a good time to reflect.  January began as an experiment in buying nothing for one month.  Nothing was defined as things I might want but not necessarily need.  Looking back, I feel confident in saying that a large part of the desire to do this was in response to the experience of December - lots of shopping, gift giving/receiving and satisfying wants, not really needs.

January was not without the urge to buy things (in particular I have developed a desire for an e-reader!).  I coped with these urges by just noticing them and then telling myself that I do not really need the item, or I could always come back to it later.  It helped that I had made the commitment to buy nothing out loud, it made me feel more accountable.  Several wonderful things came out of buying nothing.  First, my bank account looks bigger (and more happy), my house is not filled with extra things, I spent less time shopping which I channeled into getting some exercise (until I came down with the most recent sickness), I also became more thoughtful about what I already own and using things more often and with dual purpose.  As we move into February, I am going to keep the mindset, process and benefits of thoughtful buying.  For me, January was the month when nothing turned into something.

What did January teach you?

P.S. The special guest blogger (my oldest) wants to share that she is thankful for Daddy.  When asked, she explains that Daddy is loveable, kissable and huggable.  She makes your heart melt she does!  Today's picture was taken by that most huggable Daddy.

Returning

The pleasantest things in the world are pleasant thoughts:

and the great art of life is to have as many of them as possible.  
Montaigne

I have been away from this space for awhile.  After determining that this sickness would not go away on its own, I went to the doctor and was prescribed some antibiotics.  I feel somewhat better.   I am someone who has always been sensitive to medication and so the antibiotics have given me some less than pleasant side effects which keep me feeling low energy and not myself.

I am glad to be back in this space and returning to a more conscious noticing of joy in my life and my experiences.  I do have a confession to make - I still focus more on the negative experiences, the things that went wrong, or could go wrong, what other people think, and all the things I need to do better.  However, I am determined to plant more seeds and blooms of wonderment, beauty, joy, laughter, light and happiness in my mind, my heart and my soul.  I am grateful today for the support of those around me.  My family who have cooked dinner, done the dishes, taken my daughter to school and picked her up, played with the two darling girls outside so mommy could rest and genuinely showed they care.

I am grateful to be trying to live in the moment and experience the buoyancy of thoughts of the future.  What thoughts carry you forward, make you smile, keep you joyous?

P.S. The picture today was taken in Italy, thoughts of which make me very happy! 

Dance Dance Dance

Sorry for not posting yesterday, I too now have a cold and went to bed early in the hopes that a little extra rest might help.

Yesterday, while I was in the kitchen, trying to tackle the evergrowing mess, doing the dishes, wiping the counters, keeping a eye on the kiddies, resolving the occasional conflict over a toy, something wonderful happened.

My husband came down the stairs and I heard some music, I turned around, not expecting anything and I saw that my husband was singing and he and my youngest were dancing together.  Picture a very tall man, singing out a beat, and a little darling looking up at her father with such love in her eyes. She was moving her hips back and forth and swinging her little arms in delight.  It was pure joy to watch them together.  I did not even know my daughter could move like that, and the two of them were in such rhythm together.  It was wonderful, delightful and a sign that the best pleasures in life are those that you cannot be bought, and those that include the people you are closest to!  I hope you get the opportunity to dance and enjoy the rhythm of joy today!

Time is Finite

This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will.

 You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important

because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever;

in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good." 

- Author unknown

I was reading Randy Pausch's great book the last lecture ( you can see it here http://www.thelastlecture.com/).  As you are likely aware, Randy was a 47 year old professor of Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon University who died of cancer.  He left behind three young beautiful children and a loving wife.  Randy knew he was going to die and it was with this knowledge that he embarked on his famous "last lecture".  In this last lecture he shared his insights about life, achieveing your childhood dreams, and making the most of the time on this earth we all have. 

This book really touched me, his wisdom, his humour, his belief that we can and should achieve our childhood dreams.  He also speaks so elequantly about giving to others and helping others acheinve their dreams.  One of the many insights Randy offers is the idea that time is finite.  Time is finitie.  This really stuck with me.  I know that we only have so much time and yet I am aware that many people (including myself at times) live as though we have all the time in the world, as though time is an adundant and ever repleneshing.  We often speak about squeezing more time out of the day, about stretching time to get more work done.  The reality is...there is only 24hours in a day, 7 days in a week and no one is guaranteed tomorrw, next week or even the next hour.  I think of this often and have tried to make each moment more meaningful, more present, more loving and more fun.  I try to focus on what matters to me most (family) and let go of the rest.  So today, I am thankful for the knowledge that time is mine to own.  How are you using your time today?

Special Guest Blogger

Today's special guest blogger is....my youngest daughter.  She tells me she wants to write about her baby boy cousin.  She tells me she is very thankful for him.  She says he is beautiful like a flower.  She would like to go swimming with him and see his bathing suit.

My youngest is also thankful for mommy!  I like Mama she says.  She also tells me she is thankful for dadddy.  When I ask her what she is thankful for about daddy she just keeps saying daddy!

My oldest daughter is excited that she will be attending a girls friendship group.

So today I am thankful for my darling daughters and their wisdom. 

Over the hump

Our family has had some pain in the last two days, as a member of my extended family has been in a serious accident.  In the midst of this awful event, I am still wanting to be grateful.  I feel grateful for family, for people who care about each other even when things in the past have created tensions between family members.

Family truly is forever and can shelter you from the harshness that life can produce.  I am grateful for my health, my home, my friends, and for some sense of peace.  I wish everyone a sense of family and the love family can bring.

Short and sweet

Today's post will be short (my apologies) as both my darlings and the dog are sick.  I will spare you the details and only say there has been a fair amount of clean-up.

Even amidst all the sickness (and a husband who worked late) I am still thankful.  Thankful for a roof over my head, warmth in my home, food to eat, safety, clean clothes, and love.

Gratitude is a choice and today it feels comforting.

Random moments of beauty

The weather here has been quite snowy and beautiful.  The white snow, looking like fluffy kisses on all things green and brown.  It feels very inviting and soft.  The way the snow has landed gently on everything seems to have made the world seem kinder and people brighter.

Today there were several moments that I felt as though the world slowed down and pure beauty shone through - and they were most unexpected.  I was food shopping with my youngest today and she was in the front of the shopping cart, little legs swinging freely, smiling face, sweet skin, full of life and totally in the moment.  She was enjoying (immensely) all the free food samples and telling me stories and giving me directions about what food to buy.  Her voice was so confident and free, so beautifully loud as she had all my ears to herself and I was raptured by her and her emerging and ever changing personality.  She is so smart and delightful.

Another moment of beauty came today when the house was quiet (the youngest was sleeping, dad and the oldest out a birthday party) and I looked out the window, up from my book and hot sweet cup of coffee, to see the sun peeking out from the clouds and almost smiling at the world.  The soft amber sunlight was breathtaking and a reminder that nature is giving and inspiring.  The combination of silence, peace and light made the world seem alright - if even for that fleeting moment.

I hope your day was filled with random moments of beauty and that you had the chance to capture them in your mind.

Special Guest Blogger

Today my oldest darling is the special guest blogger.  The picture today was also taken by her.

Here is her contribution...

I am thankful for momma.  I love her because you are so kissable (and she proceeds to pepper me with love kisses).  I am thankful for dada.  He is kissable and he is huggable.  Daddy does funny dances and Daddy does funny songs.  I am thankful for Moonsand today (a new toy/sensory experience kind of like playdough, kind of like sand).  Because I love to play with it and be creative.

The End.

I hope you enjoyed the musings of our special guest blogger today.  I am thankful for her and her sweet amazing voice.  Her ideas, her words and her love.  Hope today brings you much sweetness and love.

Reading

Today my darlings and I went to the local library.  After the usual snack and some computer time, we began our search for some great books to bring home.  Browsing in the children's section, the level of excitement begins to grow, with my little one hugging each book and announcing that it needs to come home with us.  She runs over to the book bag and toss book after book, because every book she is in love with and it must come home.  The book bag is no longer visible at this point as it has crumpled under the weight of all the books.

My oldest and I start looking at the levelled readers section and it hits me that as a senior member of kindergarten she has come along way with her reading skills.  I see the Level 1 readers and call her over.  She lifts her head from the stack of books she is pondering and comes over.  I explained how she is likely able to read the Level 1 readers (emerging readers, books with repetitive, high frequency words) on her own.  She looks at me with sheer delight in her eyes.  We perused the Level 1 readers and found some that she could read (no need to incite frustration at this point) and she started feverishly pulling readers from the shelves and getting very excited.  In the end I convinced her to narrow the field to 6 books and she skipped to the librarians counter in delight.

At home she climbed up on the couch for what she proclaimed would be "reading time" and read her books (with some assistance on the unfamiliar words).  I looked at her when she was not aware and was overcome by how proud I was of her, how independent she is becoming, how loving and beautiful she is.  I am thankful that reading has come easy to her thus far, and that she loves the printed word, and most of all that she is proud of herself.  Here is wishing you a moment of unexpected delight with the world and those around you.

Loving Up

Today as I asked my two darling daughters what I could write about to be thankful, the oldest daughter said you should write about coming home to love up.  My youngest daughter said she would like to paint a picture for me.  How beautiful!

When I asked my oldest daughter what she was thankful for today, she said (after some thought)...Nonna.  She loves her Nonna.  Nonna makes yummy food -from fresh, and she is Italian (my oldest said).  Ciao Nonna.

When I asked my youngest daughter what she was thankful for today, she said....Mommy love.  Mommy I Love you - awesome!

Today I am thankful for the love of those around me.  Take a look around, whose love makes you thankful and makes your day great!

Collegiality

A quick post as I attempt to get the kiddies (and then myself-yeah!) off to bed.

Today it struck me how wonderful it can be to have colleagues.  I mean real colleagues - those who know you as good and kind, who assume you are coming from a place of helpfulness and positivity.  Thus, you can have a real, joyous and fun conversation about serious events, family and not so serious stuff.  All without feeling judged, being able to be your honest self and genuine, and playful! - at work.  All these great feelings can occur while serious, significant work is being achieved.  Everyone needs the experience of being who they are at work, not some piece of yourself or some watered down version of who you are outside of work (or for some a completely different person).

Today, I feel thankful that I could be my whole self at work and that was accepted, embraced and more than good enough.  Wishing you the opportunity to be you, in all the areas of your life.  Sleep well.

Slowing down

Sorry for being away from this space yesterday, fatigue set in and I was not able to get to post my thoughts and feelings before sleep took over for the day.  I also found myself somewhat unfocused with respect to noticing and celebrating, if you will, the daily blessings I enjoy.

As I was involved in bedtime routine with my oldest last night and, my mind had an opportunity to quiet and declutter, I was aware of how beautiful and healing quiet and stillness can be, especially if you have the chance to cuddle next to a warm, loving, unconditionally supportive person.  That sense of warmth, stillness and slowness was wonderful and very healing.  I thought about the world in that moment and how much healing could come for so many people if they just had a moment (a real moment) to stop and experience stillness, in addition to a warm hug or cuddle from someone who truly loved them.  I am not an overly sentimental or 'mushy' person and yet all we have is each other and our own thoughts and feelings.  Here is wishing you a warm hug and a chance to be still and experience joy.

What brings you joy?

Day 7

Today seems like a good day to check in (given it has been 7 days) around the "month of nothing".  As I described in an earlier post, I am attempting to make January the month were I purchased nothing except what is needed for survival (food etc). 

Here are some things I have noticed in the last 7 days.  There is something liberating about not thinking about shopping, not using shopping as a distraction or an attempt to change my emotions (usually away from a feeling(s) I no longer want to have).  It has also allowed me to be in a store and really see what a store is about - being mindful of my surroundings and not buying into the marketing madness.  I have been in two stores recently (at the request of others) and I felt out of place and a little repulsed (amazing what the mind can do and be influenced by!).  I have also enjoyed not having more things/stuff in the house, getting better use out of what I already own, and it has made me more conscious of when my mind wanders to the desire to buy something.  I have also had a little more time on my hands.

I am not naive enough to think this will last forever or that I will always feel this clear and empowered but for now, I am enjoying the ride and hope that it will continue. 

Stillness

Today there was this stretch in time sandwiched between a morning with a friend who brought her same age son over to play with my two darlings and, an afternoon filled with a playdate for my oldest with a school friend that stands out as... wonderful and breathable.

I had taken my oldest to school for her afternoon session, had finished a rather nutritious, hot yummy lunch, my youngest had finally decided to fall asleep for nap, and I curled up on the couch with the book I am reading.  I became so engrossed in the book (probably about 30 minutes) that when I looked up, the snow was falling gently, the sky was clear and the sun was making it's way to bed.  The house was silent and I was aware of still things seemed.  I could not take my eyes off the quiet falling snow and the sense of peace that came over me.  I was aware that shortly the house would be filled with the loud and unpredictable sounds of the three girls playing, yelling, laughing, jumping and perhaps crying.  This quiet and still space in between the morning activity and what would soon be the afternoon frenzy seemed like a delicious treat.

Here is wishing you stillness and peace tonight.  Feel free to leave a comment and share what makes you feel a sense of peace.

Humanity

Today I ventured out into the world and had a very humbling and touching experience for which I am grateful.  This experience was with a male work colleague who is not always seen as a man who expresses his emotions or for which emotional expression seems to come easily.  We spoke of a situation in which a young person is struggling significantly despite the efforts of others to help, and as we spoke (it was a brief conversation which makes the experience in many ways more heartfelt) the man's face became soft, his eyes slightly watery and his gaze began to fixate off into the distance.  He was clearly in the moment and in touch with his emotions and, his own humanity.  He said how it saddened him to think of this young man and his struggles, and how difficult it was to comprehend that someone so young, might have such struggle so early in life.

This experience moved me and it felt momentarily as if time was standing still.  The moment did not last long as the multitude of distractions and demands of work took over and everyone moved on to the next task.  It did remind me that we are all connected, can and do feel each other's pain and importantly, care for each other (even if it looks from the outside as if we may not).  At the end of the day all we have is each other and our own humanity. 

Self-care vs. selfish

Today I was thankful that I had some time (albeit what felt like a small amount of time) to engage in self-care, specifically a little exercise and which helped to clear my mind.  So often self-care gets confused in our minds and in our conversations (and our conscience!) as selfish.  I am aware of how often I think about the other things that I could be doing instead of taking care of myself (like the laundry, the dishes, spending more time with the kids or my husband, the multitude of house projects on the list, or even work related stuff - this list is in no particular order).  I am also really aware of how often my self-care falls to the end of the to do list and how many other things come first - and as most of us know, the to-do list is never ending.

With young beautiful children, I am pulled to spend as much time with them as possible and also keeping up with the household is a constant pull, so taking time out for yoga, meditation, knitting, writing, reading, art or exercise feels really hard.  Mostly, I am not successful at it, however today the opportunity arose, and I took it (although I emptied the dishwasher first!), and the exercise was helpful in clearing my mind and reminding me that I need to take care of my health in order to have the energy and wellness to offer to others.  So today I am thankful that self-care came to the top of the to-do list.  Here is wishing you a day and night filled with taking time for you.

Health and Wellness

Happy Monday!

I was away from this space yesterday as the illness that my darlings struggled through this seasons found its ways to Mama.  I spent most of last night and, still feeling it today, feeling rather awful.  The timing of my sickness coincided with what would be my return to work outside the home following Christmas vacation.  No stress there!

This struggling with feeling not well is a gentle reminder (okay perhaps more than gentle) that health is one of the most important, essential and energizing basics for which to be thankful.  Those of us who have mostly enjoyed good health can sometimes take our wellness and all the ease that comes with it for granted.  I also want to mention, that for me, health takes on a holistic meaning, mental, physical and spiritual health (this is a personal definition to explore).  Just moving through your day and the energy and vibrancy we can share as individuals is a direct result of all of the aspects of our health. 

Despite feeling rather awful, I am comforted by knowing that this will pass and  I will be back to myself again (hopefully later today?).  Today, I am thankful and grateful for my health and the opportunity to pause and think about how I will continue to take care of myself each and everyday.  How are you taking care of yourself today?  Feel free to share...there is now an anonymous option for leaving comments if you so desire.

The month of nothing?

Happy New Year!  2011 is now officially upon us!

I was doing some reading over the last few days and one article talked about making January the "month of nothing".  The author was referring to not buying anything for the month of January.  This was in reaction to the abundance of spending that many people do in December in preparation for the holidays, whether it be presents, food and wine, or travel.  This article was also targeting those who may have overspent for the holidays and are now stressed by the burden overspending and financial strain can cause.

As I read this article originally I was not feeling this idea, thinking it is a bit of a symptom approach and does not really address any underlying issues.  It did not feel authentic and thus I wondered how someone might sustain what I felt was this knee jerk approach.  The more I thought about it, the more I was drawn to the idea - with some modifications, if you will.  I would like to try to make January the month of nothing for me, meaning I will try and be aware of not purchasing anything that I do not need.  No extras, nothing that is not needed or is a necessity.  For me the most valuable part of this process will be noticing, documenting and reflecting on when the urge to buy something that is more of a 'want' and not a 'need' arises, how it makes me feel, the self-talk I engage in, and what my mood might be.  I also think it will be valuable learning for me to notice how it feels to not buy things.  As an added bonus I am hoping it will help me to be more thankful and resourceful for what I already have - for me a big part of gratitude. 

So as we begin the first month of the 2011, where are you headed?  Feel free to leave a comment and share.