Family forwards and backwards

Happy New Year's Eve!  I don't think I was quite ready for today being New Years Eve.  When I finally came to realize that today was the last day of the 2010 calendar year, I began to ask myself some questions:  the looking forward questions were about what I want to accomplish (if anything) in 2011, where would I like to travel to (if possible), what experiences do I want to share with my family, what coming together events am I most looking forward to?  I also began to reflect and ask myself some looking back questions; what stands out as the most memorable experiences/events of the past year?  what has changed from January of 2010 to now? 

I began reflecting on the past year during a car ride this morning with my husband and darling sweet daughters.  We were talking about what New Year's Eve is, and why people celebrate. I asked my husband what he most looked forward to doing in 2011 and he said spending time with his family.  My oldest daughter responded that she would like to go fishing (a girl after her father's heart no doubt!) and my youngest repeated her older sister's response, not quite sure what to make of this whole New Year's Eve discussion.

We started talking a bit about a 'family plan' for 2011 focused on what sort of things people wanted to do, be part of, experience, try out etc and it gave me strength, excitement and a sense of connection to those amazing people I feel blessed to call my family.  We talked about places we would like to travel to, celebrations we would like to have, and how much we look forward to the warm weather and the summertime.

In addition to this time of reflection, the evening was filled with a very relaxed, casual dinner with friends and some family.  The food was nourishing, healthy and hearty.  There was lots of noise, chatter and laughter (and the occasional conflict) with all the kids and the adults even got a chance to talk as well.  It reminded me that keeping it simple typically contributes the most to my happiness and lack of stress.

The picture today is a drawing my oldest made this morning, she tells me the hearts over people's heads mean love.   Really is there anything else anyone could ask for?

Here's wishing you health and wealth (insert your own definition here) and lots of abundance in 2011.

The great outdoors - Part II

Today I tried to replicate, if you will, the experience of really enjoying the outdoors yesterday.  The whole family took sleds, camera's, snow helmets and a positive attitude and headed outside.  There was a light dusting of snow here last night and all the trees look marvellous, like they have been coated with glittery ice kisses.  It was beautiful.  We also did some nature walking point out rabbit tracks, deer snow prints, and some lovely caridnals.

The time outside as a family was not without it's moments of kiddie meltdowns (about the sleds no doubt) but it reminded me that we are all connected and that we belong together, exploring nature, enjoying the sun, snow and the great outdoors.  Feel free to get outside today and enjoy the beauty around you.

The great outdoors

Today was the first day we ventured out following the last round of illness that seems to have stuck our house.  It felt like a bit of a risk as my oldest sweet daughter was still not quite 100% yet - although she was close.  It seems a case of cabin fever had taken over all of us as there was a resounding desire (stated loudly!) and some strong internal feelings for me that we needed to get out of the house and get some fresh air. 

So with everyone's agreement and stated needs we ventured out.  The feeling of lightness that started to take over all of us as we got dressed and began to get ready to go out was palatable.  As we first stepped out of the house, the feeling of crisp, cool, fresh amazing air against my face was heaven.  It felt like a gentle wake-up call telling me everything was good to be alright (at least in the short-term).  I loved every moment of that first feeling of fresh clean air.  I think it was even more surprising for me as I am typically not what you might refer to as the outdoorsy type.  I am also not very good at pausing and enjoying my nature filled surroundings.  Maybe the blessing for today was not only the present experience but what might be on the horizon. 

The long night

Today was spent comforting and cuddling my oldest daughter who has gotten the same stomach upsets her sister struggled with a few days ago.  It was a long night, full of much discomfort and distress, for both my darling daughter and mommy and daddy.  Having a sick child is stressful and at night it seems all the worse.  As a result of the lack of sleep or dare I say the beginning of mommy and daddy getting sick, we are all feeling not ourselves today.

I was thankful during all this that my husband and I worked as a team, taking turns doing what needed to be done and working together to try to make our oldest feel as comforted and soothed as possible.  So many times during parenting it is easy to blame one another and get disconnected.  Without words we seemed to work in harmony and support each other to get through the night.  So today I am thankful for partnership and most of all the love that binds us all together (and also that my hubby did all the laundry!).

Space for Thought

Today I am most grateful for vacations, time away from the everyday routine, and the demands of work.  There is a busyness that slips away during the holidays if enough time and effort is put towards doing nothing.  I relish the opportunity to slow down, listen to myself and my family and, to allow the time and space to just 'be' to take over.  This space and quiet also helps my mind become more positive, more generous, more creative -more thankful.

There was a moment today while doing the dishes (I know doing the dishes?!?) when my youngest was napping and my husband and my oldest daughter were out at the grocery store. The house was quiet but for the sound of the water running and the space and hum of my mind.  It allowed me to look, really look, at the beautiful glistening white snow outside and the evergreen trees standing tall.  The evergreen tree seemed to be reminding me of so many things - to stand tall, to just be, that stillness is okay, and that you can weather any storm.  Looking at that tall beautiful tree also reminded me that winter does not last forever and spring and summer will return - and that we can survive it all.  Today I am thankful for the time and space for thought and for the beauty of nature that surrounds us all.  Wishing you an evening filled with beauty.  

I have been away from this space for the last few days to celebrate Christmas with my family and also my little sweet daughter came down with quite an upset tummy and needed lots of mommy and daddy love and affection.

I have been aware over the last few days that I am thankful for so many things and it all begins with what some people refer to as the 'basics'.  Here is what I mean - I am truly and deeply thankful for a solid and safe roof over my head, a warm and cozy bed to sleep in, a quiet place to rest my body and mind, food in the refrigerator (and yummy good for you food at that!), people who love me and who I love, my health (really without physical and mental health many things in my life would be incredibly difficulty), clothes to wear that are warm and comfortable, great books to read and be inspired by and, someone to listen to me if I need to talk, laugh or cry.  Most of all, I have the freedom to be myself.  So as we move towards the beginning of a new calendar year my goal is to do my best to keep it simple and be thankful for the basics.

Playtime

Today my mind was cluttered with all the last minute details and things that needed to be done in preparation for the coming family Christmas celebrations.  Things to wrap, bake and make seemed to preoccupy my time with an impending sense of urgency as the day went on. 

I noticed that this sense of  'doing' felt uncomfortable as I wanted to play and connect with my two darling daughters.  So, mid morning I said "Does anyone want to go sledding?"  As you can imagine, there was much excitement, jumping up and down and shouts of 'Yes"!!!  We put our snowpants, coats, boots, scarves etc over our pyjamas and out we went - sledding.  We each took turns with the various sleds, and then tried a team sled.  There were moments of pure joy and peace and lots of smiles.  The feeling of rushing down the small hill (helmets were on of course) also created a wonderful sense of silence as the only that could be heard was the sound of the pillowy snow under the sled.  It was marvelous.  My girls loved it and we all came inside with rosy cheeks and a renewed sense of apprecation for the day.  So feel free to get outside and play today - you'll be glad you did.

Gatherings

I tend to be quite shy and rather reserved.  Some people notice this an are accepting, others draw the conclusion that I am snobby or disengaged.  As a result, social gatherings have always been a struggle for me.  I am the kind of person who has a few close friends and who does not always make friends easily.  However, once I know someone, I tend to come out of my shell and relish the sense of community that comes from friends gathering.

Today, was one of those moments, surrounded by a bunch of other mothers who were kind and gentle with their children.  They were present in the moment, helpful and conversation flowed easily.  Their was lots of playing going on amongst the 6 children and for the most part it was rather cooperative and kind.  There was yummy homemade food and everyone helped clean up afterward leaving the hostesses home in order - you wouldn't even know that the house was full of people!

It is moments and experiences like these that remind me that the world can be filled with kind and caring people, who notice and attend to their children's needs, and who display a sense of warmth and acceptance of others.  The spirit of the season was alive and well today.

Independence

Today was an interesting day.  Between the hustle and bustle of the everyday, the holiday celebration preparations and a visit from Grandpa my oldest daughter transformed right in front of my eyes.

It was during dinner that the moment really struck me.  She did not want eat what I had made for dinner, protesting that she does not like bean curry (who doesn't like bean curry - yum!).  She asked what else she could have and I asked her what she wanted.  She stated pita and hummus and I replied "feel free to make it yourself".  So...she did.  She went to the fridge and got out the necessary items - with a sense of confidence and flair I might add.  I watched her as she methodically worked through all the steps to prepare her idea of what would make a yummy and satisfying dinner.  I watched her intently at this point, and felt somewhat like time was slowing down, that things were moving in slow motion.  My husband and I looked into each other's eyes and it was as though we were both thinking the same thing - we were thinking back over the last few years to the day she was born.  It all came flooding back, the moment she arrived into the world, crying and full of life, to her first steps, to the first day of school, and now here she was making her own dinner.  She was dressed in a more 'grown-up' style than she typically wears and the sight of her made me stop and want the world to freeze in time. 

I am thankful for her budding independence, how she is displaying more self-confidence and a sense of advocacy in the world.  I am grateful she is growing and changing in a way that is right for her.  I am most of all thankful for her.

8 dozen and counting

Today I made 8 dozen cookies.  It is that festive time of year when the sharing of sweet things brings people together and creates a sense of community - share and share alike.  Never having made 8 dozen cookies in a single baking session before, I was not confident in my ability to pull it off.  My two darlings were playing, running around and occasionally coming to "help" - insert your own image here!

While I was making cookies for tomorrow's cookie exchange there was a small moment of quiet and peace that came upon me.  I was in the hum of rolling cookies and dipping them in sugar and feeling rather efficient.  There was a sense of quiet that came over my mind and a realization that things change fast, the world never stops moving and my darling daughters are growing up right before my eyes.  I felt grateful for the chance to be in the present moment taking in everything that was happening around me and inside of me.  The realization that life moves too fast, that change is constant, that I am loved and that I am able to love deeply.  So today I am grateful for cookies and the chance to taste the sweetness of life.

Coffee Talk

Blogging about gratitude seems easy, and at times, can be very easy and fill me with a sense of joy, expanse and peace.  Then, as anyone with young children knows, things can change in an instant.

The moment that I wanted to capture today comes to me from a visit with friends who also have young children.  The four adults were having coffee, hot steaming, wonderful coffee, at the dining room table following a lovely meal with which was clearly lovingly prepared.  The adults were talking about life, things that energized them and the coming Christmas celebrations.  It was easy conversation which flowed naturally.  Close by the four children were giggling (that from the belly, pure, beautifully joyful giggle that only young children can make) and smiling and playing a game of make-believe something.  There were engaged with each other, full of laughter and immersed in the moment.  It was amazing - to watch and to listen to.  At that moment, everyone seemed in harmony and a sense of peace settled over me, not to mention a smile on my face.   While the moment did not last as long as I would have wished, it is one I am trying never to forget.

Wishing you much peace this evening - and a great cup of coffee.

Let's take it from the beginning...

This is blog is for me.  Don't get me wrong, I hope others will read it, share in it, perhaps see themselves reflected in it and, on the off chance be inspired.  However, this journey is revealing of me.


The idea for this blog came to me while trying to get my youngest child to nap (the new happy hour as mother's of young children know!).  She held her little soft warm hands to my face, in that awkward yet unconditional way that young children have and patted my cheeks.  She looked deeply into my eyes and said "Mama I love you, love you mama".  I smiled and my mind said rather intrusively "Don't forget this moment!!". The thoughts continued to come as I told myself don't forget this moment later today when both of my daughters are crying, or in conflict with each other, or when you are trying to do the dishes, laundry and losing your sanity. 


I have a tendency to recall the negative, the what went wrong, the places and moments when things could be different.  I struggle to remember the good moments, the sweet moments, the moments of love, true peace and the many many things I have for which I am thankful.  This blog is my attempt to notice, document and capture those sweet, positive, life giving moments.  Hopefully, as I do this, I will begin to notice them more and maybe even become more grateful.


In being candid, there are a few other reasons for trying out the blog-o-sphere.  I have had a rather constant and at times unsettling desire to be more creative, in particular to write.  Writing on the surface seems rather simple and mundane, however look deeper and it is revealing and complicated.  Perhaps through this blog I will work out these tensions.  Secondly, I had hoped through blogging to have a permanent record of the positive to give to my darling daughters at the end of this year, so they could see and feel the beauty in gratitude. 


Each day I will post a new moment that brought me gratitude, made me smile, or at the very least kept me going as I move through what feels like at times a scary, irrational and unsafe world.  Join me, it's more friendly with company.